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Scoliosis(in Jesus Name)

Scoliosis(in Jesus name)   So, it was my first day back from a one week suspension, and it was slow, and my neck was killing me. I had slept funny, and now couldn’t turn my head to the left. Fanny, my fellow waiter is first to comment in her thick Ecuadorian accent: ‘What’s wrong with […]

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The Regular

Scott’s my “Regular”.   People often ask me about regulars, like Katz’s is Cheers, or Alice. Does anyone remember Alice?   Anyway, yes there are lots of regulars at Katz’s. And the other waiters often take pride in their regulars, bragging to each other “oh, he’s my regular.” Implying big tips.   I don’t have […]

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The Flash Mob at Katz’s

The Flash Mob:   So it was a few months ago, over the Summer I think. It was a Sunday, and on occasion on Sundays I work forever. From nine in the morning to nine at night. These shifts are utter craziness bordering on psychedelic. Every three hours in I lose a little grasp on […]

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Waiter Meeting

Waiter Meeting So last weekend on Saturday morning me Ishmael, and Marty were sharing a lox and onion omelette and talking waitering. If you didn’t know, Ismael is an Egyptian in his fifties, Marty a jew around the same age. I don’t remember exactly what was said, but I remember it was something like this: […]

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The Syrian Electronic Army

The Syrian Electronic Army   It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything, or aired anything on the old website, www.thelastjewishwaiter.com.  I can give a whole list of excuses, but what’s really the point?  I guess I’ve been lazy. But to be more accurate, I’ve been toiling away at Katz’s slightly unmotivated to come […]

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Call me Ismael

The words roll out of his Egyptian mouth with a cold ruthlessness that could rival the Emperor from Star Wars or any really cold villain with a bit of an accent. Ismael is easily one of my favorite people at Katz’s, probably one of my favorite people period. He is in his fifties, he has […]

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